Marriage: Simple Conversations

I have found that the longer I am married the more difficult it is to have conversations that involve more than the kids, household issues or work. It is sometimes hard to have significant conversations with each other without trying to figure out where to start. After seven years or marriage my hubs and I found ourselves in the "conversation tunnel," (which often included his ridiculously elaborate work stories with different voices for everyone in the office and me responding with blank stares). To get out of this downward spiral we started asking each other the same three questions each day.

1. What was the best part of your day?
2. What was the worst part of your day?
3. What was the best decision you made today?

These same questions often lead to good conversation and it gives me a reason to reflect on the day itself. We hope to keep the tradition up with the kids when they are older (hopefully it will lead to them consciously making good decisions).  At the very least, at least they will know their parents are interested in their day.

So You're On Assignment

Learning that you/your spouse are on Assignment for a PCS can lead to a lot of different feelings.  Fear, relief, excitement, sadness and nervousness are just a few of the many.  Once all of that passes it is time to get organized to ensure that it is an easy, stress free process.  A few weeks ago we learned that we were headed to Shafter in Honolulu, so here are a few steps we have taken to start our process that may help you in yours:

  

1. Start Your PCS Fund: This is a good time to stop spending and start saving for your move. Yes, the military does provide some funds for your move, but much of it will be in the form of reimbursement, so you will still need to have funds up front.  In addition to this, you will no doubt run into situations where you will not be reimbursed, so it is nice to have a seperate stash so that you aren't dipping into any savings.  A few ways to start the process are:

A. Cancel Away: Start canceling things you know you will no longer need. Land lines, magazine subscriptions, extra cable channels etc., get rid of things you can live without.
B. Sell: Every time we move we are surprised at how much we have accumulated over the last few years.  Take the time to go through each room and pick out what you don't need or want to bring with you. Have a Moving/Garage Sale or list on Craigslist or Bookoo to sell what you can to make some extra money.
C. Curb Your Spending: Stepping away from high cost outings will also help.  Think of your PCS as an extended vacation.  When you get there you will want to see what's available to you, so why not save now to enjoy later.  In addition, what you are wearing may be old to you now but moving somewhere new means it is brand new all over again!

2. Attend Your Briefings: The Army will require the Service Member (SM) to attend required briefings. Generally there will be a Levy Brief that will detail the need to do items for the PCS. If your PCS is an overseas assignment the SM will be required to attend an OCONUS Brief. This will detail the items by your location as requirements for each overseas assignment may change based on location. Spouses are actually encouraged to attend the OCONUS Brief, so if you are able, I definitely suggest attending.

3. Google: Research the area, housing, jobs, weather, BAH, etc. Make Google and blogs your friend but be careful not to rely too much on the opinions of others. Remember to go with an open mind.

Those are just a few things to think of when you start the process. Once Orders are in hand you can really start to plan based on dates.  I will detail that process in the next series.

Have questions or suggestions? Please feel free to comment.

How I Am Losing Weight

Each time I have decided to lose weight I have used different styles. I have taken pills, changed potion sizes, exercised my butt off, Joined Weight Watchers and Jillian Michaels and counted calories. Each course has helped me lose weight, but they were not lifestyle changers for me. I never wanted to be on a diet. I just wanted to find a system that worked for me. That I could use as a lifestyle changer. What I have ended with is a combination of many ideas/concepts.

Food: This is kind of a combination of Paleo and Zone choices.  From Paleo I take many of the food concepts. I don't eat anything processed, but I do add dairy. The way I look at food is that if it is not giving my body something it needs, or fueling it, then why eat it.  From the Zone I use blocks to direct me. My day consists of 6 meals:

Breakfast: 3 blocks
Snack: 2 blocks
Lunch: 3 blocks
Snack: 2 blocks
Dinner: 3 blocks
Snack: 2 blocks 
*each meal will consist of protein, healthy carb & healthy fat.  My evening snack is always a protein shake 30 minutes before bed.

I also limit my daily calorie intake to around 1550.

Exercise: I run at least 4 days a week and throw in kettle bell, spin, Wii and ab workout s during the week . These vary with the time I have available.

It may sound like a lot. But it is really just planning ahead. I honestly feel better now then I ever have!