The Art of PCS' ing: Before Orders

           
In my first PCS article I spoke about an upcoming PCS and what you can do in preparation (even before Orders have been received). My second article was originally going to detail the items that should be completed once orders are received but since we are in the process ourselves, I thought blogging in real time about our current experiences would be more helpful.

Here are two things that will need to happen BEFORE you will even receive orders. 

1. Sponsorship: The Army has recently implemented a new standard that requires the SM (Service Member) to have a named Sponsor at the incoming duty station before Orders are issued. This means that there must be a named individual (SM) that will act as a Sponsor for you/your spouse once you arrive. Until this person is designated you won't receive Orders.

2. EFMP: If you are assigned to an overseas assignment (including Hawaii and Alaska) and you have children, all of your children must be checked for the EFMP Program (Exceptional Family Member Program). Regardless of whether or not your child is or is not in the program they must be seen by the EFMP Liason. Generally they will have an office at the local hospital. Here at Ft.Polk our kids have a scheduled appointment with the EFMP provider at Baynes Jones. Until the kids have been seen and cleared you will not receive orders.

If you are like us and you are coming up on 30 days before early reporting or leave time prior to your report date then I would strongly suggest providing proper notice to your current leasing office. Most places (whether you live on or off post) will require at least a 30 Day Notice before you plan to move out. Despite not receiving Orders you can still provide notice so that you are not penalized for short notice. I worked with military housing here at Ft.Polk so I can tell you that the process is quite simple, and as long as you come in with proper notice, they can easily work with you on any necessary change of dates once Orders are actually received.

The Art of PCS'ing: Article I

Marriage: Simple Conversations

I have found that the longer I am married the more difficult it is to have conversations that involve more than the kids, household issues or work. It is sometimes hard to have significant conversations with each other without trying to figure out where to start. After seven years or marriage my hubs and I found ourselves in the "conversation tunnel," (which often included his ridiculously elaborate work stories with different voices for everyone in the office and me responding with blank stares). To get out of this downward spiral we started asking each other the same three questions each day.

1. What was the best part of your day?
2. What was the worst part of your day?
3. What was the best decision you made today?

These same questions often lead to good conversation and it gives me a reason to reflect on the day itself. We hope to keep the tradition up with the kids when they are older (hopefully it will lead to them consciously making good decisions).  At the very least, at least they will know their parents are interested in their day.

Being "That Black Girl"

My parents prepared me for a lot.  They took education seriously, resulting in me living by a schedule from elementary to high school. They had expectations and requirements of me and my siblings and they supported this with chores, rules and regulations. In addition to this, they had to teach me one of the most important lessons of my life.  A lesson that now as an adult I see the importance of. And a lesson that as a parent hurts and upsets me because I will have to teach the same lesson to my own children.   The lesson was as simple as this.  You will always be "that black girl".