What's Your Relationship Contribution?

During the course of my marriage I have learned many things.  Two ideas that I have found integral for a healthy relationship have been the concept of equal contribution as well as the need to maintain a sense of individuality. 

For my family equal contribution has come in many forms. My husband has provided for the family with a career in Army and will most likely continue down this path for the foreseeable future. My contribution has come in different forms, maintaining a career, going to graduate school and more recently becoming a Stay at Home Mom. While I don't think there is a guideline for contribution in a marriage I think that each party has to provide something.   Whether it be staying at home to provide for the children, working a full or part time job/career or educating oneself, there has to be a balance to offset what the other party is giving. 

Being in the military community it sometimes gets frustrating to see only one party in the relationship giving. In my career I have worked directly with many military families and I see the quiet frustration of some of the Service Members who don't feel like their spouse is providing a balance.  I am always confused when I see a spouse that is not employed,  is not going to school has no children and still does not maintain the household or contribute in any way.   Why not volunteer in your community whether local or military?  Go to school? Learn a trade? Anything so that you are putting some sort of energy into your relationship.   I feel that doing something for yourself, your family or even your community gives one a greater sense of self and can only benefit your relationship.

I also feel like the above will help in maintaining a sense of individuality.  To be a successful couple I feel that you have to be just as successful (if not more) at being an individual. Being married definitely does not mean you have to merge and magically become the same person.  I may be a member of the military community since my spouse is a SM, but I will be the first to tell you that it is my husband that is in the Army and that my career is ...
I like that we have different careers, likes, wants, desires.  It makes us better people. We talk about different things, like his carnivorous ways and the creative ways I get my protein as a vegetarian.   I prefer to run and he loves Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and weight training - but it is in our own wants and likes that we are able to maintain a sense of self and in turn I don't go crazy every time he has to leave.